Any Anne of Green Gables fans out there? Some people say I'm melodramatic (what?! Me?! Never!) so every so often I have a tendency to fall into my childhood idols "depths of despair". Today was one of those days. When you have to yell "PIVOT" several days in a row, it can be trying on my psyche. I try very hard to not take too much stock in the worlds idea of how much you do is what defines you, but when you have an over achiever personality and a personality that leans to the arrogant side (what?! Me?! No!), its hard to have a day where you are humbled. And when God sees it fit to humble me, He does it a very blatant and in your face way. I have to fight through my demons, as we all do, but days like these remind of how much further I need to go. It can be challenging, it can be depressing, but I feel like the more I fail at being perfect, the closer I am to being it. Does that make sense? I guess I'm trying to see the silver lining in a horrible, no good day. The more I fall down, the closer I am to the Final destination. I am reminded that Christ fell three times before he was crucified, so being a child of God and an imperfect human, I should definitely have to fall WAY more times in order to reap the rewards that He is offering me. The gates of Heaven were opened for me at His death, He slipped on the way. Today I fell for the umpteenth time towards those gates that He is holding open for me.
" 'You're not eating anything,' said Marilla eying her as if it were a serious shortcoming.
Anne sighed.
'I can't. I'm in the depths of despair. Can you eat when you are in the depths of despair?'
'I've never been in the depths of despair, so I can't say.' responded Marilla
'Weren't you? Well, did you ever try to imagine you were in the depths of despair?'
'No, I didn't.'
'Then I don't think you can understand what it's like. It's a very uncomfortable feeling indeed. When you try to eat a lump comes right up in your throat and you can't swallow anything, not even if it was chocolate caramel.'- Anne of Green Gables pg.33-34
P.S When I'm in the depths of despair, I have no trouble eating
Go get them ladies!
Love Anne. I think it's more telling when one picks up and keeps going after falling, trying not to fall again than anything else. Keep on truckin'. Today's a new day.
ReplyDeleteI think that's when you go back to sleeping 15 minutes early ;-) Love Anne too.
ReplyDeleteFunny enough, this post shows that even 15 min can make a difference, because I've been going to bed progressively later the last couple of days.
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