Know Thyself

   There was a recent conversation about personality styles and the different characteristics that are associated with these personality styles.  I am a firm believer that everyone should know all the characteristics of different personalities, as well as discern their own and then associate it to the different love languages, in order to have effective communication (I was a Communications major, it's all about the communication). There are different tests and acronyms to tell you where you fall in the personality spectrum but I am going to share a simple one that I learned through my business.  It's called DISC:

• Dominance:  results oriented, makes quick decisions, controls people, power of authority
• Influential: people oriented, love to talk, motivational, enthusiastic
• Steadiness: family oriented, loyal, slow to change, security
• Compliance: detail oriented, perfectionist, critical of self, analytical

     My favorite way to showcase these four personalities is with a little analogy. Think about 4 people going on a road trip: D will be driving because they want to be in charge and they probably were the ones that suggested (or demanded) to go to the certain location. I will be calling shotgun, they want to be close enough to the action to control the music, they'll gab the whole way and keep the car entertained. S will be the one bringing snacks for everyone, reminding you to pack a sweater and making sure that everyone is comfortable on the ride. C will have the trip mapped out with all the pit stops highlighted and they will probably be timing the trip (no potty breaks!). Most people have a dominant and a secondary, no one is all four. I am and ID personality (raise the roof!) and my love language is praise and affirmation (tell me I'm pretty). So you are like great, but how does this knowledge help me?

   My second daughter is and IS personality, which means that I know that she can be easily distracted in school  (because she wants to party) and she freaks out over any type of change. I also know that her love language is gifts (the 5 love languages are:affirmation, quality time, gifts, touch, acts of service).  So my game plan for her is to make school into a game (timed with prizes at the end) and I have a calendar with everything we are going to eat or do in the month, so she doesn't freak out.  Because I know these things, I am better equipped to help her throughout the day.  My oldest daughter is and DC personality, which is why there is so much conflict between the two. Her love language is affirmation, she likes to know that someone has seen that she is the best at something and pointed it out. So for her, schoolwork can be done on her own, she likes to take charge, but because of that I need to reign her in and remind her that she really isn't the boss. Testing is important to her, because that gauges her awesomeness and those tests need to be prominently displayed or talked about over dinner (she is somewhat of an introvert so she isn't as obnoxious about it as me) But, again knowing these things has helped in how I approach raising my children and how I communicate with them.

   Knowing these things can help in all facets of child rearing from potty training, schooling (picking the right curriculum), structuring the day, handing out chores and on and on. The list is endless! So take some time to really examine your child, it might be the catalyst that will help you move forward in your home and create true balance that we all crave.

Go get them ladies!